


The Phantom Menace Was 200 Years Ago

by chaletian



Category: Spaced, Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-24
Updated: 2010-05-24
Packaged: 2017-10-09 16:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaletian/pseuds/chaletian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain James Kirk meets Crewman Daisy Steiner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Phantom Menace Was 200 Years Ago

"…and then I was very into Stellar Cartography, because I just think there's something very beautiful about the stars and how we perceive and track them and…" the woman makes a sweeping, albeit vague, gesture with her arm "… all that, so I did a class – well, I meant to do a class, I mean, I had the prospectus for it but then Tim – he's a mate of mine – got me into learning Klingon, which is such a great language, really guttural, you know? Brilliant. Anyway, so then I thought about being a communications officer, and moving from planet to planet, meeting new people and learning new languages and being the one to communicate, you know, really opening the galaxy up and leading to peaceful negotiations and better understanding of ourselves and other races, but, well, I don't really think Klingon was for me. It's very _limiting_, I think. I mean, I didn't get to know it that well. I wouldn't call myself _fluent_. But I need a very _full_ language to express myself properly, and I don't really think Klingon was doing that for me. And so then my landlady…"

Jim Kirk cleared his throat. "Um – the report?"

The crewman stared at him, then down at the padd in her hand. "Right! The report! Here you go."

He scribbled his signature, and handed it back. "Where's Yeoman Rand, again?"

The woman shrugged. "Dunno. Um, didn't you want to check it?"

Kirk shrugged. "I'm sure it's fine."

The woman laughed heartily. "Absolutely! Absolutely and definitely fine! I always came top of the class for transcription. Well, not actually _top_ top, but I did fairly well. Reasonably well. I mean…"

"Sorry – who are you again?"

The woman smiled and adjusted her uniform, which was sort of sagging, and pushed back her hair. "Crewman Daisy Steiner," she said, and saluted. Fairly badly.

Kirk smiled politely. "Thank you, Crewman Steiner," he said.

oOo

Later, in the quarters shared by Crewmen Tim Bisley and Mike Watt, Daisy Steiner stared at herself in the mirror. "So," she said, attempting to create the plaited beehive look of Janice Rand and failing miserably, "I'm pretty sure the Captain fancies me."

"Oh yeah?" said Tim, eyes glued to the screen in front of him.

"Mmm. I mean, I could tell he was trying to be subtle about it, but a woman can always tell."

"I can," said Mike.

"Exactly," said Daisy. "Tim, d'you think I should do anything about it?"

"Dunno," said Tim, still staring at the screen. "Hey, I think I found _Star Wars XXI: Legend of the Wookiee King_ on the ship's server."

"Yeah!" said Mike. "I like the Wookiee King."

"Everyone likes the Wookiee King, Mike," said Tim. "Daise, you up for it?"

"Is that the one with Rocky McBoning?"

"Yeah, and the original specs for R2D2 instead of the shambolic version from XIV."

Daisy considered this, then abandoned the mirror. "Go on, then."

They sat watching the film. Eventually Tim lifted his head three inches off the ground. "What, you reckon Kirk fancies you?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"As if."

"Fuck off, Tim. Just cuz you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!"

"It's all right to be jealous, Tim," said Mike peaceably.

"Mrwwww AMRWWWOO!" said the Wookie King.

"Fucker," said Tim, and they went back to watching the film.

THE END


End file.
